“At school, I always thought I was simply shyer than others.” Kim spent nearly three decades believing his occasional challenges at school or social settings were simply personality traits. The struggle to make eye contact, engaging with teachers, the way he held himself back—these seemed the traits of an introvert, of someone simply shy in engaging with others. It wasn’t until March 2014, at age 28, that the Fondation Autisme Luxembourg provided the explanation: Kim is autistic, specifically what used to be called Asperger’s Syndrome.
“Today they don’t use that term anymore; today they simply say you’re on the autism spectrum,” Kim explains. Now 39, he’s in the process of launching his own mobile game development company, having already completed “all the bureaucratic requirements” and closing in on his first release.
“When I wear the Sunflower Lanyard and know that the staff knows that this is a person with a hidden disability, then I somehow feel safer.” It reduces social barriers: “I’m then less embarrassed to go to staff and ask what I need to do now, because when I wear the Sunflower Lanyard, they see that it’s probably more difficult for me to find my way around an airport.“
Entrepreneurship and Independence as Freedom
Kim’s path to self-employment emerged from necessity. “I used to work in an office where I mostly worked alone or with just one other person. That was still manageable,” he recalls. But when the dynamics changed—”Later, when I had to work with more people and the office became busier”—the environment became untenable. “I only stayed briefly—that kind of busy, crowded environment simply didn’t suit me.”
The solution was clear. “That’s why I eventually became self-employed. Now I can organise my work in a way that suits me best, and I can do it from home. It eliminates the stress of public transport and all that comes with it.”
Working from home eliminates multiple stressors. “Noise makes it harder for me to work—I can’t concentrate as well and I’m easily distracted. It was the same at school. Any commotion outside would draw my attention to the window, or I’d get distracted watching the snow fall.” Entrepreneurship clearly suits both his personal and professional needs and ambitions.
Understanding Social Differences
Kim is direct about how autism affects his interactions. “People should understand that things which seem simple to them can be quite difficult for us. For instance, approaching strangers and starting conversations is challenging for me personally.”
He’s particularly concerned about misinterpretation. “I’d ask people not to assume I have a problem with them or dislike them just because I struggle with eye contact and conversation.” He emphasises: “My social behaviour might seem standoffish or negative to others, even when that’s not my intention at all.”
With familiarity some of these social expectations and norms become easier to perform. “It’s still difficult for me, but I know that it’s not easy to look people in the eyes, but I try, at least with people I already know a bit, to look them in the eyes sometimes. I mean, other people, neurotypical people, for them it’s normal to look each other in the eyes and… I try to do that too, even though I certainly don’t do it as often as other people.” If anything, the continued reflexivity and consideration of Kim seems to outstrip that of most neurotypical peoples.
Finding Understanding Through Community
The diagnosis likewise opened doors to self-understanding. “It helped when I got the diagnosis to talk to other people who were also affected. And I also read things about autism on the internet. You notice and learn things about yourself when you read about autism and interact with others on the spectrum that is difficult to understand without these types of interactions.”
Still, Kim values real-world connections over theoretical knowledge. His advice to newly diagnosed individuals reflects this: “You can read about autism online or in books, but it’s more valuable to actually meet other autistic people. That way, you see how autism manifests in everyday life.” He warns against relying solely on reading: “Reading alone can give you the wrong impression of autism. We’re not all the same—there are as many ways of being autistic as there are autistic people. “
Recognising Strengths
“Often when talking about autism, people talk about weaknesses or things that could somehow be improved. But strengths are often neglected; they’re not talked about enough,” Kim observes. His own strengths are clear: “Autistic people often have exceptional focus when it comes to hobbies or work we enjoy. We can dedicate ourselves completely, bringing both passion and precision to what we do.”
He also values authenticity in relationships. “In friendships, it is how we value honesty and genuinely want to support our friends when we see they’re struggling, when we see something may not be good for them.”
Managing Sensory Overload
Kim’s sensory sensitivities extend beyond noise, and here we come closer to traveling by air or by land. “I don’t like noise and large crowds. I also notice smells more quickly, and I always stay away from cigarette smoke or car fumes.”
His coping strategies are practical. “When it becomes too much for me, I go to a room that’s either completely empty or where it’s relatively quiet, even if there’s one person there, that helps me reduce my stress a bit.” In social situations: “People who know me understand that I can become stressed more quickly. They’re fine with me stepping away to a quiet room, or taking a short walk outside during restaurant meals when I need to recharge.”
Travel: A Family Affair
Air travel presents particular challenges, but Kim has developed a system with his parents’ support. “When you fly, there are often many people at the airport, and then you’re often close to people, and there’s often commotion all around.”
His strategies are specific: “In the waiting room, at boarding. I do it so that I always move away from people. Usually somewhere in a corner there are still free seats and there I have my peace and there I wait until boarding begins.” The family has additional tactics: “I always travel with my parents and we simply always join the queue later, when most people have already gone through. And then it’s more relaxed and manageable.”
His parents play crucial supporting roles for facilitating his travels. “My dad handles the travel logistics, whilst my mum double-checks my packing, especially my medication.” This support system reduces stress: “It’s easier when someone else checks over things, then it’s double security that you really have everything.” Whatever challenges there may be at different steps of traveling, there is always a solution at hand.
Making Air Travel More Accessible
Kim has specific suggestions for improving the flying experience. On aircraft noise and disruptions by noisy children: “There are always children there. And even when they’re sitting three or four rows in front of you, you can still hear them.” His solution involves or at least invites flexibility—”I’ve gone to the back of the plane more than once when there were still free seats”—but he envisions something more systematic.
“I’ve also asked myself whether it wouldn’t even be possible to simply reserve or define family sections, let’s say, the front part of the plane for children or for parents travelling with children, and that people who are more sensitive to noise, whether they couldn’t have the opportunity to reserve a seat at the back.”
For airport announcements, clarity is key. “I always find it good when a person speaks slowly and clearly, because for example at the airport itself, it can happen, especially with announcements, that you don’t always catch everything—between poor sound quality and background noise, it’s easy to miss important information.”
The Promise of the Sunflower Lanyard
Kim sees practical value in the Sunflower Lanyard programme. “I know my way around Findel well, I’ve often departed from and arrived at Findel, but when I arrive at another airport, I feel a bit lost because I don’t know where to go. Knowing what to expect and where the way leads is very helpful.”
The lanyard represents security: “When I wear the Sunflower Lanyard and know that the staff knows that this is a person with a hidden disability, then I somehow feel safer.” It reduces social barriers: “I’m then less embarrassed to go to staff and ask what I need to do now, because when I wear the Sunflower Lanyard, they see that it’s probably more difficult for me to find my way around an airport.”
His vision extends beyond identification. “What I’ve seen on the internet at other airports, is that there are also places made especially for people with a hidden disability, where there are for example quiet rooms where they can recharge their energy.” This would be his wish for Luxembourg Airport: “I’d love to see something similar at Findel.”
Dreams of Discovery
Travel remains a source of both challenge and aspiration for Kim. Despite the sensory and social hurdles, he maintains ambitious dreams of exploration. “There are various places that would interest me, especially countries in Asia like Korea, but also different African ones, because I’ve never been on a safari and would love to at least go once.” Food very much guides his travel bucket list: “In Asia there are still a few places I would like to go, not least because of different cuisines and specific foods.”
Ideally, these experiences are of course shared with people one cares for: “I think it’s nice when you can travel with someone you get along well with and have fun with.”
Living Authentically
Reflecting on his journey, Kim advocates for systemic change that could spare others his decades of misunderstanding. “Better education and awareness about autism could lead to earlier diagnoses. That support during school years would make such a difference.” His own diagnosis at 28 meant years of navigating a world without the self-knowledge that might have eased his path.
He finds representation meaningful, mentioning the Netflix series “Atypical” for people interested in getting a glimpse into what autism can look like: “I watched all the seasons and of course it’s not exactly like in real life, but there are situations there that struck me, where I thought, yes, that was similar for me and then you recognise yourself a bit.” To his younger self, he would say: “It’s really important to learn not to stress. And to not stress, you need to know what triggers that stress in yourself, and what techniques there are that work for you to try to keep that stress low.” As we wrap up the interview, Kim calmly mentions that he is about to finish coding his first game, getting ready to release it soon. Clearly, he has found techniques that work!
