Joanne is 36 and autistic, along with having ADHD and being highly gifted. For her, autism isn’t an illness or disability in the traditional sense, but “simply a way of being.” She explains, “It’s how the brain develops, and that simply influences how I perceive the world, information, feelings, communication, relationships.”
She currently works as a consultant on autism for individuals and businesses, and was a trainer supporting bringing the Hidden Disabilities – Sunflower program to lux-Airport. She is also studying for a Master’s in Organisational Development and Inclusion. When she isn’t busy making Luxembourg a more inclusive and hence better place through her work, she finds joy in music – listening, singing, playing guitar with friends – as well as walks on the beach or by the lake, films, cooking, learning, and connecting with people on meaningful projects. Put differently, Joanne is as much clear on what she wants to put her energy into as what she needs for balancing herself to be able to show up as her best self.
“The characteristics were always there, but nobody recognised them – including me. I didn’t understand what was happening,” she recalls. “I was constantly trying to figure out why social situations exhausted me, (…) why certain sounds felt unbearable, (…) or why communication could result in conflict and misunderstandings.“
Understanding Autism
Joanne prefers the term “characteristics” over “symptoms,” often using a car analogy to explain: “From the outside, you don’t necessarily see how it works… if you were to think every car can just go refuel with petrol, you’d get surprised when yours actually requires electricity. And with autism, it’s the same, the brain has developed in a way that is specific in how it functions and what it needs.”
Born autistic, Joanne didn’t receive her diagnosis until age 26. Many autistic women and girls fly under the radar because they present differently than the stereotypical male profile that dominated early autism research.
The diagnosis provided not just a label, but a framework for understanding her lived experience. “Since the diagnosis,” she explains, “I can communicate myself much more understandably. I understand myself. And then others understand too. And then it’s much easier to connect with each other.”
Communication and Connection
Communicating in a mainly non-autistic world presents Joanne with specific challenges, but also reveals her strengths. “An important lesson for me was that people often don’t necessarily mean what they say,” she observes, a mismatch that “often leads to misunderstandings or conflicts.”
To bridge this gap, Joanne now focuses on core values in her relationships like “self-responsibility, honesty, directness, how people handle feedback.” To bridge understanding with non-autistic people, she proactively explains her communication style: “I either sometimes make slightly intense eye contact or relatively little. I explain that I sometimes need extra time to process before answering, that I tend to be direct, and if I say or do something that bothers them or they don’t understand, they are welcome to give me that feedback.”
While her straightforward approach initially surprises some people, many come to appreciate it: “Sometimes I say things others are thinking but won’t say for whatever unwritten social conventions. And that can be very practical and helpful.”
Managing Sensory Input and Social Energy
Unlike many non-autistic people, Joanne’s social battery drains quickly and her sensory processing works differently. “I get tired relatively quickly from social contact,” Joanne explains, “that I then withdraw relatively quickly and want to be alone. And that’s not because I don’t like people… it’s simply because I need some time to recover.”
Her sensory sensitivities also shape her social choices, such as how her noise sensitivity means she often prefers “to go for walks with friends or colleagues rather than sit with them in a restaurant.” For many autistic people, background noise that non-autistic people might filter out automatically can be overwhelming and make concentrating on a conversation difficult.
“I’ve learned to live very consciously with my limits and my needs,” she explains, “and when I get tired, to take care of myself.” Though this requires effort, she has developed “a whole toolbox of strategies and habits that are very nice for my well-being.” These include scheduling recovery time after social events, using noise-canceling headphones in busy environments, and being honest to herself and others about her needs instead of pushing through discomfort.
The Hidden Work of “Masking”
Like many autistic people, Joanne sometimes engages in what’s called “masking”—adapting her natural behaviors to fit non-autistic expectations. “I was just told by someone, by a psychologist I had for a while, that I supposedly mask a lot. And for a long time, I didn’t know what she meant by that.”
She now recognizes this adaptive behavior: “But I think that’s what I do when I’m being filmed or in a podcast or when I go to a restaurant with people. I know, then for two, three hours that that’s what I do.” Masking involves conscious adjustments like maintaining “appropriate” eye contact, filtering her natural directness, monitoring her tone of voice, and suppressing movements that would help her think or regulate sensory input. It’s essentially performing non-autistically – and it’s exhausting.
Celebrating Autism’s Strengths
When discussing autism publicly, deficits and challenges often dominate the conversation. Joanne wants to change that narrative. “With autism, weaknesses are often talked about a lot,” she says, “I want to take this opportunity to really highlight the strengths.”
Her heightened sensory perception, often framed as a challenge, becomes a source of joy in the right circumstances “When I then hear or smell something pleasant or when I feel a gentle breeze of air or when the sun shines… that enjoyment is incredibly intense.”
Her capacity for deep focus on topics that interest her is another gift: “A great strength for me with autism is also simply the intense interests, the focus one can have, and the passion for one topic or a few topics, where one can simply go immensely deep and broad,” building expertise.
She also appreciates her capacity for solitude: “I also love being alone… I’m not dependent on others to go on holiday or to a restaurant, for example.”
Travel: Navigating Airports and Sensory Challenges
Navigating airports, for Joanne, involves a “whole toolbox of strategies and habits” to manage sensory overload, diverse information and social interactions. “What I find difficult is the noise, the crowds of people, the information processing under time pressure and then the touching too, when you’re in the queue,” she explains.
Her solutions are practical and systematic: “What helps me is that I now have my lists to prepare myself and strategies also at the airport itself, like headphones I have, or sometimes I place the suitcases and backpacks in front of me and behind me, so that people keep a bit of distance.” She also makes sure she knows “where there are slightly quieter places at the airport and how I can keep myself distracted from people and relaxed.”
To minimize the stress of queues, “I buy the Fastlane” access, allowing her to avoid the most overwhelming parts of the airport experience. Experience likewise has made travel much more manageable: “Through my studies, I fly regularly now, so it’s become less stressful with practice. I’m still tired afterward, but it’s no longer overwhelming.” New airports still present challenges: “The first time at a new airport is always harder because I don’t know the layout or where to find quieter areas.” Online maps and virtual walkthroughs can help but are often not available.
“Otherwise, what remains difficult is simply the sensory input, the crowds and the fast motor skills that are sometimes required.” One of her solutions is to “make sure I always have enough time, that I have enough time and space to find my way again if I feel like it becomes overwhelming.”
Communication Needs with Staff and Fellow Travelers
For airport and airline staff, Joanne’s needs focus on clear communication: “It’s possible that I need a bit more time to understand what is being said. It might also be that I ask several times. It might also be that I will ask many questions in advance.”
She notes that her communication abilities can fluctuate during travel: “The longer I have to be at an airport, or the further the journey has progressed, then my ability to speak or understand becomes more impaired.” What helps most is “patience, providing information” and clarity. She appreciates the Luxembourg Airport staff, noting they’ve been consistently helpful and accommodating.
For fellow passengers, Joanne has practical requests that would make travel better for everyone: “Please use deodorant but go easy on perfume – strong scents can be overwhelming for many people, and then I’d be happy if you wouldn’t push in queues and keep social distance.” In the confined space of aircraft, she appreciates consideration: “Don’t necessarily spread out so much that you’re constantly poking the other person with your elbow.”
Her most important message promotes understanding over judgment: “If you notice someone who seems upset or is taking longer than usual, please be patient and ask if they need help rather than making assumptions. That small courtesy and gesture of kindness can make someone’s travel experience much better.”
Setting Her Own Standards
One of Joanne’s most significant personal insights has been learning to set her own metrics for success. “I learned, and I’m still learning, to set my own standards. I can’t compare myself to others because I am the way I am. If I try to do things the way non-autistic or even other autistic people do it, it often doesn’t work.”
This self-acceptance has been liberating: “That means simply finding my own rhythm, my own standards.” She has also developed valuable skills in non-violent communication and stress management, recognizing that emotional regulation isn’t just mental but “a lot of it is simply physical. It’s in the nervous system, it’s in the whole body.” Learning to identify early warning signs of rising stress and developing techniques to regulate her system have greatly enhanced her life.
These approaches weren’t taught to her as an autistic person – she had to discover them through trial and error. “So much of autism support focuses on making us appear more like non-autistic people instead of helping us live better in our own way,” she observes. The most valuable lessons came from other autistic people and professionals who understood autism as a way of being, not a deficit.
Advice for the Newly Diagnosed
Joanne’s advice for newly diagnosed autistic individuals is rooted in her own journey: “First, connect with other autistic people as soon as you can,” she advises. “Find people who share your experiences and can offer practical advice and reassurance. Online communities, local groups, or autism-positive social media can be good starting points.”
She emphasizes the importance of protecting yourself from negative influences: “Stay away from or keep distance from people who say you are sick, disturbed, not normal, or deficient.”
Self-discovery is key: “Get to know yourself. See what your strengths are, your interests, to develop them.” She also highlights the value of “accepting that certain limits are there,” while still pursuing development in other areas. Joanne acknowledges the balance between acceptance and growth: “Some limitations may be permanent, and that’s okay. I’ve tried to overcome certain challenges and eventually realized I needed to accept them instead. But in other areas, I’ve made progress I never thought possible.”
Embracing Different Ways of Being
For Joanne, initiatives like the Sunflower Lanyard program represent an important step toward better understanding and accommodation: “I think the Sunflower programme can be a very big opportunity for autistic people or people with a hidden disability and their families, to be able to travel at all, so that it’s not such a stress factor, that it can be much more pleasant, much more relaxing, and also generally improve interpersonal interactions.”
The lanyards and similar programs make invisible differences slightly more visible, but in a way that preserves privacy and dignity. The final destination here are environments where “different ways of being are not just tolerated, but understood and accommodated”.
While she has traveled extensively, her dream destinations include Norway, Iceland, and Korea. What draws her to these locations? “My perfect travel experience combines natural beauty – sea and mountains – with good food and friendly people.
